Finding the Best Helper
I used to be very cynical when I got to know of people who changed maids very frequently. As I would always conclude there must be something wrong with the employer instead of the maid. Until I have a taste of what it means to be a wise employer & finding the right helper.
'Yours truly' have changed 2 domestic helpers since 3 mths after Georgie was born. And the journey was extremely tiring, dis-heartening and sometimes when there's issues with the maid, I took it too personal. The 1st one was sent back to the agency as there was a time when she sneaked out of the house to meet her friend to collect a face-wash foam while we were out bringing Georgie for a check-up. The funny thing was she, as well as the agency mentioned it was her 1st time here in S'pore, therefore we felt absurbed how come she would know any friends here...
The 2nd one was lazy and slow.. Alright, pls do give us the benefit of doubt when we call someone lazy. Afterall, me and Yo don't really have a high standard fixed for our helpers. So when we say she was lazy and slow, she was really lazy and s...l.....o.......w...... so much so that it should seemed justifiable if we split her salary with my mum ( who will probably be fit to take 50% of her salary, if not 75%?).
The 3rd one is the current one we are having now... She is good! Bubbly, works hard, lively, plays with Georgie well, and can take care of him single-handedly while I work. However, 2 months plus have passed since she came, and slowly her certain patterns start to show... Forgetful, careless, too noisy (can u imagine? She's so talkative that even Georgie sometimes finds her too loud and gets frustrated) and 'climbs' over my mum's head b'coz my mum treats her too well and kinda spoils her. So now, my mum starts complaining, which really gets on my nerves, and that's also why I'm now complaining via my blog (sorry guys, no other channel to release my frustration). However, after all these experiences, I finally realised that there isn't a best helper in the world, only the RIGHT helper.
Just a few tips which I hope will be helpful if you're intending to look for one:
- Ask yourself why do you need a helper?
To clean-up/do housework as main priority, or to take care of elderly/kids or to cook.
Once you've set the main priority, expect her to fulfill that particular task a 101%, but be prepared to compromise and manage your expectations on other secondary tasks.
- Treat them well BUT don't pamper them.
Feed them well, becoz they need the strength & energy to do their work. Give them ample rest but don't pamper them. My mum bought my helper a $50 plus swimsuit during Georgie's bdae so that she can join in the Wild Wild Wet session. See... she's reaping the after-effects now! (PS: On the other hand, a small little treat once in a while won't be able to do much harm)
- Be firm with them.
Maintain an employer-employee relationship with them at all times. When they did something wrong, correct them on the spot immediately.
- Be prepared to repeat.
Keep reminding them of the right way of doing things again and again. Don't be afraid to repeat as some of them take a longer time to register in their minds.
- Always conduct an evaluation session with them once in every 2 months.
Give them a channel to sound out their concerns and ask them with regards to their well-being, about their family's well-being back in their hometown. Praise them of their good job if there is.
- Do not be too concerned or swayed by what other people say. AMEN!
Always keep a look-out/observe the way she does things, responds to your family members. Keep things easy. Trust yourself and trust what you see with your own eyes. If you're concerned if they have been ill-treating your kids, just observe the way your kids react & respond to them. If they shun away from your helper and don't like to be with them, then THERE"S SOMETHING WRONG!